NO RED NOTICE

I intended to write sooner, but I’ve been away for a while, on account of my cable being shut off.

You see, I didn’t know the bill was late. Not only that, there were no threats that service would be cut. One night, it was just gone. I had it on within the week, $40 later, but it’s just the point.

HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO PRACTICE THIS SPEECH

While waiting at the bus stand to go home from work, this lady approached to wait at the stand, muttering to herself. Soon I discovered she was talking. Make that, shouting!

“Get out of my motherfucking business!

“Get OUT of my MOTHERfucking business!

“GET out of my MOTHERFUCKING business!”

I started to think, it sounds like she’s rehearsing to confront someone. Indeed, her speech began to change.

“I don’t want no guns in my house!

“I don’t want NO guns in my house!

“I don’t want no GUNS in MY house!”

Something completely different… another story from teenage life.

QUESTS OF MANHOOD

This was a routine the drama types at my high school used to do, led by a charasmatic ninth or tenth grader called Myq (Mick). I imagine a bunch of folks at a Renaisance Faire doing this as part of their routine, though I didn’t know of any where I’m from.

First quest – Knowledge!
Second quest – Power!
Third quest – A woman with TWO! BIG! BREASTESSES!

To continue getting psyched up for the play, they’d next start singing some Monty Python bit, like “Sit On My Face”.

Finally, a conundrum.

“THEY WERE FOUR MEN LIVING ALL TOGETHER, AND THEY WERE ALL ALONE”

No they weren’t alone, you just said they were living together! Or do you just mean “lonely”? Wasn’t their dad gay or something?

See you in a week or two!

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2 thoughts on “

  1. ORANGE!  Yeah, I never say stuff out loud, but I do the same thing confrontations like that lady.  Except all of my preparations, people can see my face moving and lips and me looking all crazy, but I never say anything.  And also, the confrontations are always situations I would have handled differently in the past if given a chance, so I don’t even know why I do them.  And “Sit On My Face” is one of the better Monty Python songs of all time.  I have to say it ranks right up there with “Medical Love Song”.  Oh I can hear it now… ‘Inflamation of the foreskin, reminds me of your smile….’ Keep it cool, eh?  ORANGE!

    Like

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