Thanks for your comments.
Not all places accelerate towards ‘tolerance’ at the same rate. The
town I grew up in still used many ethnic slurs, some of which were often
aimed at my brother and I… An assortment of Polish (‘pollock’) and
Italian (‘guido’) jokes were a part of my growing up, and as far as I know,
a certain work that starts with ‘n’, ends in ‘r’, and has a ‘i-g-g-e’ in
the middle is still used there.
Anyone seen George Lucas’ student film THX (whatever digits follow)? He
describes a world of people with shaved heads so they look the same, genetically
engineered and paired up by computers, given drugs so you’re always in a
satisfied mood… and our hero decided to have an illegal sexual encounter.
Londo: It didn’t
take me too long to become accustomed to the Barbie aisle, it’s just part
of the job.
Yes, that’s its name… I used to know so many people that would let
issues like that fester… I’m glad you’re willing to seek help before
it turns into a big issue.
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BRATS THAT GANK OUR EMPTY VIDEO GAME BOXES
Do you really and truely think that there’s a disc in all those boxes left
in broad daylight for you to peruse, that don’t even have shrink wrap on
them, that you could easily open to check for the presence of the aforementioned
before you get it home?… Perhaps I shouldn’t use a word like ‘aforementioned’
since there’s a fair chance the reason the boxes disappear is because you
have a problem reading the orange label affixed to both sides of the box
that reads ‘DISPLAY ONLY – BRING TO COUNTER TO PURCHASE’.
Now, I’ve already covered the issue of literacy in toy stores. Despite
my estimation that less than 50% of our visitors can actually read, we continue
to use printed signs and flyers to draw attention. Most folks continue
to have a difficulty grasping phrases like ‘SAVE UP TO…’ and anything that
surrounds the word ‘FREE’ but that doesn’t bother me, because issues regarding
such things can eventually be cleared up.
However, when we lose a DVD case that advertises the presence of a video
game in our store, three bad things occur.
1) People don’t know that we indeed have X latest and greatest video
game in stock.
2) We have a DVD-ROM and an instruction booklet to a game that no longer
has a proper DVD box.
3) Some disappointed runt has just thrown and empty DVD box in the
garbage, having failed to steal a video game.
If you want to play a new game so bad, there are several alternatives to
The old-time favourite is of course the one that is also perfectly legal,
despite being high maintanance. You pretend to make friends with someone
who has the game you want to play so you can play it at the dude’s house
any time you want. When he fails to buy the latest games in your behalf,
you throw him out like moldy leftovers.
Search the internet for ripped images of the game. Usenet and the assortment
of peer to peer engines are the favourites. Ask friends that you know
already do this for help, because typing ‘P2P’ or ‘ROMS’ into a search engine
will only net you pornography. This, of course, is a violation of copyright
Better still, you can wait til the game becomes cheap enough for your parents
to think it’s worth buying it for you.
Or you can buy used. People that buy the latest games the instant they
come out become bored of them within days of release, and immediately sell
them to the local used dealer to cut their losses. This is also perfectly
Maybe someday when you’re through with puberty you will recognize the futility
of keeping up with fashion trends and recognize that people will only like
you for you, not for the movies you’ve seen and the games you’ve played.
The people that I know that think they are friends just because they
have an interest or two in common… aren’t.
Yours very truly,
Concerned Toy Store Guy
See you next time.