Thanks for your comments.

lazarusrat and Mister_Green:
Yes. not everyone in the world is prepared for the sort of life I imagine
as it ‘ought’ to be, but that can be said about all utopian thought.

Not all places accelerate towards ‘tolerance’ at the same rate.  The
town I grew up in still used many ethnic slurs, some of which were often
aimed at my brother and I…  An assortment of Polish (‘pollock’) and
Italian (‘guido’) jokes were a part of my growing up, and as far as I know,
a certain work that starts with ‘n’, ends in ‘r’, and has a ‘i-g-g-e’ in
the middle is still used there.

Anyone seen George Lucas’ student film THX (whatever digits follow)?  He
describes a world of people with shaved heads so they look the same, genetically
engineered and paired up by computers, given drugs so you’re always in a
satisfied mood…  and our hero decided to have an illegal sexual encounter.

Londo:  It didn’t
take me too long to become accustomed to the Barbie aisle, it’s just part
of the job.

El_Presidente:
Yes, that’s its name…   I used to know so many people that would let
issues like that fester…  I’m glad you’re willing to seek help before
it turns into a big issue.

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BRATS THAT GANK OUR EMPTY VIDEO GAME BOXES

Dear brats,

Do you really and truely think that there’s a disc in all those boxes left
in broad daylight for you to peruse, that don’t even have shrink wrap on
them, that you could easily open to check for the presence of the aforementioned
before you get it home?…  Perhaps I shouldn’t use a word like ‘aforementioned’
since there’s a fair chance the reason the boxes disappear is because you
have a problem reading the orange label affixed to both sides of the box
that reads ‘DISPLAY ONLY – BRING TO COUNTER TO PURCHASE’.

Now, I’ve already covered the issue of literacy in toy stores.  Despite
my estimation that less than 50% of our visitors can actually read, we continue
to use printed signs and flyers to draw attention.  Most folks continue
to have a difficulty grasping phrases like ‘SAVE UP TO…’ and anything that
surrounds the word ‘FREE’ but that doesn’t bother me, because issues regarding
such things can eventually be cleared up.

However, when we lose a DVD case that advertises the presence of a video
game in our store, three bad things occur.

1)  People don’t know that we indeed have X latest and greatest video
game in stock.

2)  We have a DVD-ROM and an instruction booklet to a game that no longer
has a proper DVD box.

3)  Some disappointed runt has just thrown and empty DVD box in the
garbage, having failed to steal a video game.

If you want to play a new game so bad, there are several alternatives to
retail theft.

The old-time favourite is of course the one that is also perfectly legal,
despite being high maintanance.  You pretend to make friends with someone
who has the game you want to play so you can play it at the dude’s house
any time you want.  When he fails to buy the latest games in your behalf,
you throw him out like moldy leftovers.

Search the internet for ripped images of the game.  Usenet and the assortment
of peer to peer engines are the favourites.  Ask friends that you know
already do this for help, because typing ‘P2P’ or ‘ROMS’ into a search engine
will only net you pornography.  This, of course, is a violation of copyright
law.

Better still, you can wait til the game becomes cheap enough for your parents
to think it’s worth buying it for you.

Or you can buy used.  People that buy the latest games the instant they
come out become bored of them within days of release, and immediately sell
them to the local used dealer to cut their losses.  This is also perfectly
legal.

Maybe someday when you’re through with puberty you will recognize the futility
of keeping up with fashion trends and recognize that people will only like
you for you, not for the movies you’ve seen and the games you’ve played.
 The people that I know that think they are friends just because they
have an interest or two in common…  aren’t.

Yours very truly,
Concerned Toy Store Guy

See you next time.

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3 thoughts on “

  1. ORANGE!  I see your current toy store gripe, allow me to share mine .  The “Green Friday” (I call it Black Friday for it is a day of infamy and unhappiness to the employees but not to the big ups of the corporations that don’t have to actually “work”) is coming up.  Your part of the mall has the actual early bird sales and hence people coming in at five in the morning and so on.  Our side has around three items featured in the early bird flyer and yet we still have to open up at five in the morning.  My gripe is, I’m just imagining all the people coming in saying “what’s on sale” that early in the morning and my replying “this, that, and those” and literally that’s it .  ORANGE!

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  2. Okay. I knew you were largely talking utopia, but the specific sentence I quoted, I thought you were talking about current reality. Things have gotten better, sure, but like the fortune file says, “I haven’t come far enough, and don’t call be ‘baby.'” But yeah, I’m down with what you were saying.Our mall toy store doesn’t have the empty cases on display thing going on. They’ve just got the locked cabinets behind the counter, so if you want to see if they have a game you have to get right up to the counter and peer around looking confused and getting in the way of people trying to get in line. The only places I can think of here that do the empties thing are that used shop we’ve gone to, and Babbage’s. I can’t imagine the used place having a high incidence of shoplifting, because there’s nowhere to run if you do get caught: just a big empty parking lot.After buying a couple gameboy games this past week, I’ve decided I’m just going to start renting shit from now on, or going for gamefly.com. I’m guilty of the buy it new, sell it for less than half the price two weeks later thing, which is getting pretty ridiculous.What up with the Shuttle thing? I realized after we hung up that I should have mentioned I have no idea what the situation with other Shuttle drivers are. They have boards based on Via and other chipsets, too, so I know dick about those.

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  3. Yes it does seem a bit silly to take an empty box, perhaps you could leave the letter in one of the empty boxes?  And The pic in my thing is the delightfully unwholesome ‘Fritz’ the cat.  It’s a cartoon from the early seventies based on an underground strip by robert crumb. 

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