I’m sorry, I’m not very proud of these past few entries…  I’m trying to make it better…

This topic is depressing so I’m hoping I can bury it with these next two or three entries.

Thanks for your comments.

lazarusrat:  Already talked with you about the points I’m going to make public here.

For those that don’t read down the comments or otherwise didn’t gather
from link chasing and reference, lazarusrat is one of those artists I
was talking about.  He has to live with people who find out what
he draws and then think he’s a messed up sex fiend, and like he said,
when he explains what he really does they either dismiss the subject or
think it’s cool that he can draw cartoons.

(I visit with him roughly twice a year.)

Cleosama and Londo:  I was wrong to steer that last entry as negatively as I did, because I
didn’t explain how nice to me that my friends that are into the furry
thing really are.

A majority of the old computer stuff I trade and work with passes
through them at one point or another, they even outright give me stuff
they don’t need anymore, like the motherboard and case that run the
workstation I’m typing this on, or the Handspring Visor I raved about
in my second-ever entry.  They let me in their family and they’re
why I have a home where I live now.  So some of their friends have
strange kinks?  The grand total of honestly weird and
uncomfortable situations I’ve been in I can count on one hand, though
that’s in part because 1) I don’t seek out perversion and 2) if I’m at
one of their parties and I’m bored I intravert and do something by
myself somewhere, so I end up not seeing a fair chunk of what’s going

The number of strange sex acts I’ve seen furries do totals… one!-
some dude strapped to a chair on the porch at a party more than a year
ago.  I turned around and worked on some programming code in my
Visor while I think somebody was whipping him.  I’m surprised the
cops didn’t come and cite them all.  That’s not saying I haven’t
heard people telling stories, but I don’t really care about that.

My friends know I have my thing and they have theirs; that’s really all
there’s needed to be.  I don’t want to throw out my friends over
something that stupid.

There’s two points that really need making in retrospect-

Aside from the social aspect of taking emphasis away from the art, no
harm has actually been done to anyone, so there’s nothing that can be
done to prevent what happened.


If those old comic books were still around I wouldn’t be writing this at all.

This is a problem to which there is no solution, a war that ended a
long time ago, which everyone lost.  It’s nice to sit here in 2004
and blame certain people for antisocial behaviour, or I can blame the
comic artists for not having the guts to stick up for the integrity of
their own work, or the comic exec that saw the people reading the books
instead of the art of the books themselves, but nothing will really
change about the whole thing.

Here’s hoping I didn’t scare you all or bore you to death.

Oh, sometime in the next week I need to come up with some five seconds of noise to demonstrate the ‘phase’ effect.


Someone in my neighborhood spray painted ‘BUSH’ at the bottom of a stop sign.


Every now and then I get to serve a customer that asks for discount as
a simple reflex, or a learned survival trait.  Of course, my fast
refusal and occasional apology is also a learned survival trait. 
I can tell who these people are by how quickly they take my denial, and
I’m guessing they wouldn’t bother with this sort of thing if it didn’t
actually work somewhere.

After about fifty of these people, though, it gets old, and I get the
impression that these people want nothing more than to feel slightly
more priveledged than all the other customers before them or besides
them, and not only isn’t that done, it can’t be done.

I really wish it was easier to give everyone individual treatment,
because it’s the advantage a physical store has over internet shopping,
but if the only ‘individualised’ thing people are seeking is a lower
price than anyone else, in fact, if ‘more for less’ is all anyone
really wants at all, then all that can be provided is a very
emotionless, faceless arms race of competing numbers.  Buying
cheap for its own sake tells the world you want an uninteresting,
homogenous product that doesn’t have any lasting value or redeeming
spiritual and emotional qualities; it shows the world you like being
thrown in a long queue and served with a phony grin, if there’s even a
smile at all, and that you neither want nor deserve anything better.

Yet, that’s all that works in a world where people are afraid to go out on a limb to be a little bit unique.

I like to think of this a different way:


My father has a habit of making every opportunity sound like a scam,
even though it isn’t.  It might be the salesmanship side of him, I
don’t know…

When I really want to learn about something, I look everywhere I can for resources until I learn about it, at my own risk.

There’s a lot of stuff in life that I wish I hadn’t learned about.  Maybe that’s what “Ignorance is bliss” means.

See you next time.


4 thoughts on “

  1. Well, it’s not like I’m blocked from a career as an artist. I don’t want a career as an artist, for a lot of other reasons (not the least of which is that it’s too much work). I just don’t like that there are all these negative impressions from the media, and no one really questions them. But then, TV’s 100% accurate and unbiased these days, isn’t it? I keep forgetting that.What you just described is why I buy video games from that used joint when I can. It’s a chain, but it’s always the same guys working there and they always want to talk about the games I’m buying or selling. If it’s something utilitarian, like car parts or clothes or something, yes, give me something as faceless and streamlined as possible. I just want to buy what I need and get out. If it’s something I care about, I’d rather the person selling it to me cares about it too.


  2. “When I really want to learn about something, I look everywhere I can for resources until I learn about it, at my own risk.” <<< an excellent way to be.


  3.   I very strongly believe in the idea that ignorance is bliss.  But, then again, I also strongly believe that Fate and Chance rule everything, so there’s little point in hiding under a rock.  My ideals and concepts of reality don’t quite mesh, and so my beliefs are somewhat contradictory.  Like the idea that no matter what you do in life you’ll still wind up at the same predetermined endpoint, yet at the same time if you don’t make certain choices correctly you doom yourself to certain failure in the grand scheme of things.  And I don’t hate Furries as people, I just greatly dislike their brand of fetishism.


  4. Thanks for the comments lately… I’ve been busy the last few weeks getting into my new job, and with finals.  I would hope to comment more often.  I am however thinking of taking a longer Xanga hiatus.  Being the strong natured person I am, I will most likely begin flame wars on my xanga instead of taking a hiatus.  Some people are annoying me, and though I see it in a mature sense as a ploy for attention… I sometimes can’t control my inborn urge to give them what they want in a bad way.  Attention gone bad… Wish me luck I suppose.  Thanks for sticking around!


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