30 IS THE NEW 20

To anyone waiting, sorry it’s been a while since I last wrote something here.  I’ve had an extremely adventurous Christmas run, and bar none, the best Christmas and New Years’ of my life, but I couldn’t put it in a public place like this until all the right people knew what happened and so that no feelings are hurt.  There are still a few details I can’t write about here, but enough of it is out there that I can begin…

Sometime in October, I noticed something where I work, that this same girl was going out of her way to say hello to me, making sure her path crossed the room to my desk so that she could walk by me and say hello at least once a day.  I’m not certain how long it took me to notice this.  I brought this up with some close friends, who chided me to talk to her about it…  so I did.  This began an interesting effect, a very sudden, eye-opening recognition of something that probably always has been but only on occasion have I ever paid it any mind.  We talked on AIM that night, I asked her out, and at the moment, she said “no,” but it was not total rejection, and in fact…

The next day I started to notice that she was not the only one doing things like that, and, perhaps I was starting to read a bit much into what I was noticing, but then again, perhaps not…  and besides, what I was noticing felt fun and even a bit empowering!

I went through a strange month and a half or so of trying to figure out who liked who, what, and why, and …  I almost made another friend, and in the end, I think I hurt her feelings quite a bit, though I didn’t really mean it- I guess that’s what happens when you don’t practice something, of course you won’t be good at it when you need to be…

And there was the other girl who I think was trying the same routine of saying hello every day, but…  I’m afraid I just didn’t like her back enough for anything else to come of it, and in a certain sense it’s too bad, but probably best that I didn’t force anything…  It’s just odd, because someone my age isn’t supposed to go through that, it’s stuff for teenagers or maybe college students, but not me…

But I never stopped talking to the first one, after all, she was the one I liked best, and still do…  It was affirmed when I spent Christmas with her family, and New Year’s Eve with her; and if anyone had tried to tell me that I’d have a girlfriend when I turn 32 to me at 27 or 28, I’d certainly call you crazy.  I suppose it’s a nice thing to be wrong about.

Perhaps it was the big risk I unconsciously needed after the service for my father’s friend.

I took another worthwhile risk during all that- I traded my car in, and now own something that is brand new, well-financed, and Korean.

mysonata

I can’t say no to a car that drives like an old friend, and has a 0% interest loan.  Big thanks to the marketting guy that came up with the “Big Duh!” sale.

I have no idea how I balanced all this ordeal with the regular Christmas run at work, but I did, and the balancing act continues; though I see my girl virtually every night, it takes time from a lot of the things I would do otherwise, and the people I would talk to or spend time with, like my brother or my friend, or even just people on the internet.  Nobody seems to fault me for it yet, though, so in time, I’ll get things balanced out a little better.

In the meantime, I’m riding things out as best I can.  Her family really likes me, and I’m going to meet more of them tonight…

The only reservation I have to how things have turned out is that my entire vision of what I think I’d be doing in three years is now totally gone.  I have no idea what’s going to happen now, but, for some reason, I feel much happier for it.  Maybe a domestic, self-sufficient, family-supporting man hides inside me somewhere… or… time will tell, I guess.  It’s best to have fun with it while it is still possible to do so, and frankly…  I’m starting to regret not having taken a risk like that a long time ago.

I forget the context of the matter, but someone at work quoted a declaration that the age of 30 is now the “new 20”.  Perhaps this explains the sudden adjustment in stamina, hormones, late nights, …  though through that logic, there’s a lot of jailbait out there…

I hope everyone had a great December, and as long as things continue as they are, my January trip to the midwest is still on.  Send me a line if you want to see me in Illinois in the last week of January.

See you next time.

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